Sex & Relationships

There’s always one. It doesn’t matter how much we think we’ve moved on or tell ourselves they were never good enough for us, there is someone in all our lives who we haven’t quite managed to forget. And don’t we hate it.

Whether it lasted two months or two years, a certain someone in our lives can affect us way beyond the time we were ‘involved’ with them.

Assholes or nay, there is something about them that causes us to constantly compare them to anyone else we find even remotely attractive. We know we shouldn’t, but we just can’t help ourselves.

But why do we do it? Whether the dumped or the dumpee, we don’t see them anymore for a reason, after all. When shit happens, you’re supposed to move on, right?
The point I’m making here is: is it the person that we can’t ‘get over’, or the situation? The sands of the hourglass may take the sting away, but it doesn’t undo the injury. And some people have a funny way of missing the sting.

I’m no Little Miss Perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but time and time again I see friends and acquaintances alike falling into the same old trap of repeating history.

I mean, why do some peeps keep falling for the same types of wasters they dragged themselves up from the dirt for? Or even worse, why the hell do they dive back into the same mud pile with a click of their ex’s fingers?

They could have been instigating orgies behind your back for all you knew, but as far as you’re concerned, they’re the best thing that’s ever happened to you and no one’s going to convince you otherwise. Or else you know they were complete w*nkers, but that’s what made them so attractive to begin with.

But then there’s another breed. They’re the ones who know it was right to make a run for it when they did, but they just can’t help looking back and wondering “what if?”

They may not stalk their ‘loves’ or pray every night that a bolt of lightening will reap its revenge on them, but they are the ‘dwellers’. And believe me, this can be just as bad, if not worse, than the other two. At least you know you’ll get over your fanatic voodoo phase… eventually. But these ‘dweller’ types are gluttons for punishment.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the same cynic I’ve always been when it comes to affairs of the heart. But even the hardest of spirits have come across at least one bod who has managed to break the barrier.

But continuously comparing others to them isn’t going to do you any favours. If that type didn’t work for you before, it’s unlikely that it will again. So break the pattern and try someone different - you never know what might happen!