Over the Lateral

Let’s play a game. I’ll describe a club from the English Premier League and you guess which one.

This club was founded over 100 years ago and is from the north-west of England.

They wear red.

They are owned by Americans.

The city of this club has a large second and third generation Irish population.

They have won the English league title more than 16 times.

They have won the European Cup on more than 2 occasions and won it recently in a dramatic final.

This club has had important Irish players throughout its history.

They have a big rival in the same city but its main rival is about 30 miles away.

This club has had a tragic incident involving significant loss of life.

Some supporters of this club sometimes sing about its rival’s tragedies.

Given up? Well, the answer is Manchester Utd and Liverpool. And as the title race gets tighter the fickle hordes of fans from both sides get louder.

If you grew up in Manchester or Liverpool you may have just cause for supporting one side or the other. But growing up outside of north-western England and holding fanatically entrenched partisan views on why one club is better than the other is akin to the Big-Endians and Little-Endians from Gulliver’s Travels. They have much in common but they would never admit it.

Irish fans talk about ‘their’ respective sides as if it was a battle between Good and Evil, but Man Utd and Liverpool are practically the same.

For one reason or another (their parents forced on Crown Paints or Sharp replica shirt or they were 10-14-years-old when either side was in a successful period) these people ‘decided’ that they would support ManPool.

Another reason routinely given is that both clubs have had very important Irish players in their past like Heighway, Carey, Lawrenson, Best. It’s the same for both sides.

While Man Utd won it first, Liverpool have won more European Cups and lately both have won it in thrilling finals (1999 and 2005). Presently, Liverpool lead, by just one, in league titles.

Songs about the Munich Air Crash (1958) and Hillsborough (1989) are not unheard on the terraces of Old Trafford or Anfield. Sections of supporters have no moral issues with reminding the others of those mass deaths with ditties like “I Wish it could be Hillsborough Every Day’ to the tune of ‘I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday’ and the retort to the tune of ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ is ‘Always Look on the Runway for Ice’.

After they meet you can go into any pub and hear unflappable logic along the lines of “you’re only as good as your last result”. That’s providing that the victors are below the other team in the league. Then the defeated fans urge the others to “look at the table”. These seemingly hard and fast rules are immediately interchangeable when the circumstances are reversed. I know it’s only a bit of slagging but they can sound so serious.

A sad fact is that a lot of these fans will put ‘their’ club before the national team. Ask them if they would rather see Ireland qualify for the World Cup or win the Premier League?

But it remains that the fans don’t dislike each other because they are different, they dislike each other because they are the same. Amalgamate I say, At least then you could sup your pint in peace.