How cheap is too cheap? Tesco Value Milk Chocolate

39c, 100g

Is there any outer beauty?

Well, it doesn’t exactly look pretty. But then what Tesco Value products do? Clearly, there’s chocolate inside… but already it looks cheap. Maybe this is part of the suspense? Or maybe the chocolate really does just taste like shit, not of course, that we know what shit tastes like…?

So open it, won’t you just.

All right. All right. It’s been opened. Twelve pieces of chocolate are there for eating - which seems a bit miserable. Maybe it’s Tesco’s way of cutting costs by refusing to make smaller pieces? Or maybe their target market is fat people?

Fine, fat people like chocolate, we know that. But how does the actual bar taste? That’s what we care about.

Well reader, it tastes a bit of chocolate. As in, your brain is telling you that you’re eating chocolate because you have physically picked up something that has the word chocolate printed on it. In reality, you might as well be eating a version of chocolate butter - if such a thing exists. One good thing: it is edible, unlike some of the Tesco Value products.

So how does it compare to other brands of chocolate?

Not well, as much you might want it to at that price. In terms of other brands of milk chocolate - it certainly isn’t Galaxy, or even Cadbury’s for that matter. To compare it to Green & Blacks is just unthinkable.

Will you be finishing the bar?

When a bar of Galaxy is sitting underneath the Tesco Value chocolate, no. But in the future, sadly, it could happen. And no, I’m not proud of admitting that.