Over The Lateral: A good contest, but not necessarily good hurling

Maybe I am spoilt. Maybe because I grew up watching the Offaly team of the nineties winning two All-Ireland titles by playing a supremely skillful brand of hurling, my expectations are too high. That team had a freakish quality about it. For a county with a small population to produce such a clever bunch of players at the same time is quite unique. I saw Pilkingtons, Dooleys, Whelahans, Troys et al serving up breathtaking displays of sheer class. The semi-final in 1999 against Cork is simply the best game (of any sport) that I have ever seen. Brian Corcoran was halfway through a clearance that was destined for 80 yards up the field. The cameras followed the natural trajectory of the puck and panned up to the Cork full forward line. When they couldn’t spot the ball they returned just in time to see the umpires behind the Cork goal putting down their flags after a point. John Troy had appeared from nowhere, stolen the sliotar from Corcoran and tapped it over the bar.

When Brazil won in 1970 that was the way soccer should be played. When Uíbh Fhailí won in the nineties, that was the way that hurling should be played.

And so we move on to the All-Ireland between Kilkenny and Tipperary. There is no doubt that this was an exciting game. Ger Canning described the game as ferocious; on the edge; thrilling. He said there was drive; tenacity; slipping; work rate; replies; pace; drama. Those are the ingredients of a good contest but not necessarily good hurling.

The game had a grand total of three ground strokes. I wondered if the GAA had banned it. These are the ’skills’ that I saw: mullocking; bullocking;shoulder-dropping. And that was just Kilkenny. Tipperary weren’t shy either. One of their substitutes delivered a sickening blow to a Kilkenny defender, even worse when you see the replay and spot the little check that he did before the swipe. The commentators tried to pass this off by commending the victim for getting up on his feet straight away. If he hadn’t been wearing a helmet then he would be getting great value from his food blender for a few months and possibly have lost an eye. This is what now passes for hurling.

*So I’m watching the football final in an Irish pub in Sweden. There is an awkward moment as the national anthem begins. Some stand up quickly, others follow the crowd. Some sing aloud, some sing quietly. A guy at the back stands out. He is wearing a white shirt so I’m not sure if he’s Cork or Kerry. He has his chest out, head up, proudly singing: Sinne Fianna Fáil, atá fá geall ag YEAAAAAASSSHHH!!! G’wan ya f*cking beauty. I look around and see on another screen that Michael Owen has scored in injury time. Later, as Kerry do what Kerry do, he’s banging some furniture around the bar. I think Páidí was right.