Holidays are coming… the adverts that signal it’s that time of year

This year it may feel a bit inappropriate to look forward to a season of wasting money, eating too much and spoiling ungrateful kids. While we’ve been cutting back and losing jobs, the Christmas ads have been sneaking back onto our screens. Yes, they’re cheesy, the music generally sucks and they start way too early. But what about the cheer and good tidings they bring?

Most people will say that the ultimate Christmas ad is the Coca-Cola Christmas Trucks. That chant of “Holidays are coming, holidays are coming…” never fails to make you either squeal with excitement or groan with disbelief, “Crap, is it that time of year again?” My friend was telling me about his brother complaining about the Christmas lights getting turned on in November. “They’re forcing it on me”, went the complaint. My friend duly replied, “Shut up, they’re Christmas lights, they’re happy, get over it”.

Another absolute classic is the Kellogg’s Corn Flakes ad. Pure nostalgia, the innocent wee American kids sleep beside the tree in the hopes of getting a glimpse of the Big Man himself. I remember being a child and thinking, “Jaysus, do parents in America not send them to bed early on Christmas Eve while they devour the Baileys and Fox’s Classic? Lucky yokes.”

Then there’s the Budweiser Clydesdales ad. The humming in the background isn’t exactly the kind of tune you’d get going in the pub but it breeds familiarity nonetheless. Plus, it’s an ad for beer: what could be more Christmassy?

I’ll tell you what: food! Or specifically, leftover food! Hellman’s got it right with their version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. “Two turkey legs and a jar of Hellman’s Mayonnaise!” -I’m feeling sleepy and satisfied already.

Let’s not forget the good old days when we used to actually post Christmas cards. An Post took Howard Blake’s We’re Walking In The Air, creating an ad based on The Snowman that has lived in memory for generations. Maybe in these modern times the importance of An Post at Christmas time is lessening, but as some little band once said, the song remains the same.

There was a Mastercard ad a few years back which showed a dude in a suit heading home for Christmas. Along with the tagline “Getting Home For Christmas - Priceless”, it was the perfect example of feel-good cheese that comes hand-in-hand with Christmas time.

Newer Christmas ads aren’t quite as wholesome. Nowadays we have the Marks and Spencer ad with yer wan dancing around in her knickers. I can almost hear the backlash. Those Heathens; Christmas is neither about chocolate nor knickers, thank you very much.

Mobile phone ads have always been prominent, now that we think it’s appropriate for a three-year-old child to own one. The Vodafone ad with the ice-skaters on Grafton Street probably did more for Dublin City Tourism than it did for Vodafone. Then there’s O2’s new Christmas Comes Twice ad, which is really just pissing the audience off by reminding us that no, we’re not on some tropical island listening to steel drums, we’re basically underwater freezing our tits off.

Meteor ads have been good ones for a bit of light controversy. A few years ago they had an ad banned for making Granny play Twister, and again for shipping Granny off home for buying crap presents. For once, I agreed with the censors, if only because I’ve always been a complete softie when it comes to Nanas and Granddads. Plus, it’s not exactly Christmas cheer is it? It can’t all be about spending money on presents, and this year should bring us even further away from all that greediness. Listen to Deirdre O’Kane and buy a feckin’ charity gift, will ya?