Welcome back to everyone who jetted off on a J1 this summer, the rest of us have been keeping the country warm for you (not really, it’s still freezing). While you were away making friends with people who can’t pronounce your name and schmoozing up to anyone over 21, those of us back home have been having our own just as exciting adventures. But really, thanks for the constant Facebook updates showing how great being away is, we definitely needed that reminder every day. With that not at all bitter sentiment in mind, here are the top ways students spent their summer at home:
The “semi committed relationship with Netflix” summer
They say that for every can of beer cracked by an Irish student in The States, ten people at home watched an episode of Breaking Bad. However, the Netflix game is a dangerous one. What starts as you innocently checking out the latest series that everyone is talking about usually ends 36-48 hours later realising you haven’t eaten or seen sunlight in days. You can spot the people who enjoyed this summer by their fear of commitment to another series and utter disgust that you haven’t caught up with Game of Thrones yet. Double the above symptoms for anyone who bought Grand Theft Auto V.
The “working two jobs to pay for college” summer
These poor unfortunates worked excessive hours for less than minimum wage so that they could get through the next year of college. Whether it was flogging holy water to ould wans at the foot of Croagh Patrick or lugging the bags of tourists in Killarney, these people worked hard. You can to spot them as they’ll be the only ones buying branded alcohol after the first two weeks of the college year. Note: if you think that you really worked hard when you volunteered at that festival, best to avoid mentioning it to anyone who had the workaholic summer.
The “sure the weather was grand, I put on ten pounds” summer
We can always bank on the two weeks of glorious sunshine when the Leaving Cert rolls around, but this year it stayed for the results. Penneys showed record sales in the flip-flop, flowery shorts and tank-top departments, and many the overweight gentleman strutted topless through the towns and villages of Ireland, inspiring nightmares for years to come. Meanwhile it was too hot to exercise and the ice-cream was just too hard to resist. Watch out for a few pudgy people with tan lines and new gym memberships in the first weeks back.
The “Leaving Cert” summer
Yes freshers, this means you. Two years of work followed by two weeks of amazing weather and tortuous exams, following by two months of waiting to see if you’ve beaten the level boss to get into college. They probably had the worst summer of the lot, but the reward of college is worth it.
There are plenty of other ways to spend a summer, though not nearly as enjoyable. A final note for J1ers and inter-railers, if you notice people you’re talking to having a vacant expression and glazed over eyes, it may be time to stop mentioning how sophisticated the rest of the world is, what an eye-opening experience your summer was or how crap it is to be back.
Image credit: AnneMarie Kelly