BREAKING: It’s raining in Ireland

Earlier this year, The Daily Mail broke the shocking news to the world that Lauren Goodger narrowly avoided utter shame after she managed to sidestep a puddle in Essex. The story proceeded to divulge some harrowing details about the TOWIE star’s dress code at the time of the incident and her recent breast enhancement.

Celebrity break-ups, Oscar selfies, and Miley Cyrus twerking. These are the stories and guilty pleasures that we indulge in over a cup of coffee, but every so often the ‘rags’ publish gossip that is both mundane and bizarre. Here are some not so shocking reports from Irish papers.

Natural speed ramp

Motorists in Drogheda are deterred from speeding by “traffic calming” tarmac and there is a pothole on St. Francis street.  An article appeared critcising the maintenance of the road: “If you travel down Francis Street you’ll know this spot well. In fact, you can’t just avoid it.”

Interestingly the article concludes that the pot hole isn’t such an annoyance after all as drivers must slow down to cross it. “One big issue I see on Francis Street is the speed of cars and trucks and one thing about a road like this – you just have to slow down, so making it a natural calming measure. Not much money spent on this one then.”

War zone in Kilkee

Uneven surfaces are not only a menace to the east half of the country as Kilkee, County Clare is apparently “a war zone”. However, this war zone isn’t like the protests of Kiev or Syria. This ‘war zone’ is a stretch of uneven pavement, the aftermath of recent storms.

While the Kilkee strand is currently in a poor state and requires repairs, calling it a war zone might be a stretch of the imagination.

Jennifer Maguire has stopped drinking during the week

It isn’t all smooth sailing for the rich and the famous. Jennifer Maguire (from Republic of Telly) has admitted that she is no longer able to enjoy a midweek tipple after she secured a spot on the 2fm breakfast show. Sob.

Maguire’s new job means she has to refrain from midweek partying and must keep her socialising to the weekends. “It’s just about getting to bed early now.”

Colin Farrell smokes fag outside film set

While one star has given up a vice, another star can’t seem to resist. Readers were treated to an exclusive feature about Colin Farrell smoking a sneaky cigarette outside a film set.

“He and a pal were papped getting their nicotine fix in a car park beside the beach — despite the actor’s previous claims that he was ‘done with’ smoking.”

The actor claimed to be off the fags last year but has picked up the habit again. Lucky thing that the paparazzi were on site to snap the harrowing moment.

Petrol station workers double as paranormal investigators

Two petrol station workers, James Moore and Raja N. Khan in Galway have teamed up to form a paranormal, ghost busting team. Armed with little more than a camera and recording equipment, the duo have been spending nights in Galway graveyards. While they admit that they haven’t yet come face to face with any restless spirits, they have documented ‘orbs’ or blue-grey floating fuzz.

Finally, it seems orbs are not the only unpleasant surprise that Galway walkers might encounter during an evening stroll.

“Galway City Council has introduced a new pilot scheme to tackle the problem of dog fouling in Cappagh Park – but forgot to include the new bins on its waste collection rota.” Luckily for the nation the issue has since been rectified.

Katie Coyle

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