ManTalk: Textiquette

Imagine the situation. You’ve just put in the hardest nights work and miraculously it paid off and you managed to swap spit with the bombshell on the dancefloor. The night is coming to a close so you get their number in hope of more slippery tongue action in the future.

So what to do with this series of numbers that when used telephonically will put you in contact with the possible love of your life? DO NOT TEXT THEM THAT NIGHT.

I don’t mean wait three days like everyone will tell you. Three days is the length of time it took Jesus to rise again. Optimal amount of time: midday the next day to 8 p.m. the second night. Too soon and you come across too eager, too late and you aren’t interested.

The next piece of advice is probably the most cliché and trite thing you will ever be told: play it cool. It’s good to be interested in someone, but don’t be an eager beaver. Gauge their responses to know their level of involvement. Hi, hello, I love you is not the way your first post shift interaction should go with someone.

Struggling to find something to talk about? Show an interest in them. I mean this is more than a ‘what did you do today’ way. Everyone wants to feel like they are interesting, so take a back seat and give them centre stage.

This doesn’t just apply to texting either, but all forms of contact. We live in an information society so it can be easy to suffocate people with an ‘add’ for a social network and snaps and texts and messages and piss off. No one wants to be annoyed on social media.

Above all, do what suits you. If you want to text them at four in the morning as soon as you get home, fire ahead. I’m just giving some advice. Lastly, just don’t send any dick pics. Even if you’re asked. Especially if you aren’t.


Chris Kennedy

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