ManTalk: it’s not me, it’s you

The last thing you want to do or that you will ever have to do in a relationship is break up. Actually, sometimes you really want to break up. Sometimes you get back together and make “We were on a break!” jokes.

How do you dump some one without leaving them down in the dumps? There really is no good way but there are plenty of bad ways.

Start by avoiding anything you have ever heard on TV. “It’s not you, it’s me.” “Let’s just be friends.” “We aren’t at the same place in the relationship.” If you really want to tell the person you had no interest in the relationship, fire ahead with the clichés. Full disclosure, I’ve only ever had one break up and I went with the “Let’s be friends” line. It didn’t go down well and we weren’t friends afterwards. I’m more in favour of slowly ignoring the other person until they break up with you. Doesn’t make you the villain but you will not end it on good terms.

I am proud to say I’ve done a little research on this topic. By that, I mean I asked a few of my friends on the best and worst ways to show someone the road out of a relationship.The general consensus is to be honest with just a bit of sugar coating. Tell them exactly why you want to break up. Well, unless the reason is like a little line of hair they have on their lip or you’re getting more annoyed with every word that comes out of their mouth. Or they’re too needy.

What I’m trying to say is this: avoid pointing out any glaring personality flaws the person has because its bad enough to get dumped, worse to get dumped on. How would I do it? I’d be honest and say “Look, I don’t really want to go out with you anymore. Hit the road [insert girl’s name here]”. There’s no good way to break up but it’s worse to drag things out until you hate each other. Because I have experience with that and it’s not fun.

Partly because someone hates you but mainly because you’re still stuck in the relationship that you don’t want anymore.


Chris Kennedy

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