Mantalk: goodbye my lover

So you have just broken up with what was clearly not the love of your life. What next? What’s the easiest way to move onwards, and possibly upwards?

Moving on can actually be really hard, depending on how attached you were to the person and reason you broke up. It’s around now that you’ll be second guessing dumping your old partner, new ex. Did you really make the right decision? Before you go running back to them, remember there was a reason you broke up. Only a proper fool makes the same mistake twice.

What’s the not-crazy method of moving on from a break up? On a scale of deleting them on every social media you have and talking about them behind their back, to stalking their every move, in a Police “Every Step You Take” manner, try to play it cool somewhere in the middle. Sure you might not want to talk to them anymore but deleting them on social media is petty and can make you look like a psycho. No one wants to look crazy, right?

Just because you didn’t delete them does make you any less crazy if you spend every waking moment looking through their Facebook, Instagram and even their LinkedIn. Moving on is about getting over the last person and you’ll never do that if you’re obsessing over them.

I personally disagree with the saying that “the best way to get over one man is to get under another”. Loads of people become the town bike the minute their relationship ends and I just can’t agree with it. So you’ve been off the market for a while? That doesn’t mean you’re suddenly back and at a reduced price. Sure it might rub a little salt in the wound for whoever you broke up with, but it won’t make you feel any better. That was actually me talking from experience.

How would I move on? I’d take a few me days, where I’d wallow in despair and listen to all the Snow Patrol and old Coldplay that I can get my hands on and then, on the third day, I’d roll away the stone and emerge into the real world that didn’t even notice I had a girlfriend, never mind that I just broke up with someone. And when I’ve finally mustered up the strength, I’d shift my ex’s friend to finally gain closure. Doesn’t work for everyone but you’ll find your own way of moving on.

Chris Kennedy


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