You Say Goodbye, If I Say Hello

A few weeks ago, this paper featured an article entitled “Lads, Take A Leaf Out Of Lionel Richie’s Book and Say Hello”, which described a girl’s feelings towards being approached in a nightclub. While the article was well written, I felt it was missing a key element. Therefore, I have decided to respond on behalf of all the lads out there who are happy to play the game without scoring every time.

Look, we all know what nightclubs are like. The flashing lights, the pounding basslines with limbs flying everywhere. I think we can all agree that this kind of place is hardly the ideal spot to discuss poetry by Sylvia Plath or the current crisis in the Ukraine.

As human beings, we have tried to overcome this by inventing our own silent language. An awful lot can be said in the nod of a head or flash of a smile without a word being spoken. The problem is, it’s not a fool proof method, and a smile by you could mean something different to me. I see no problem in approaching a girl if only to clarify and see if the wires have indeed gotten crossed.

Then we have the actual approach. Something I think girls fail to grasp is the actual time and effort that a lad, like a golfer, puts into his approach. It’s a carefully thought out process which has usually been tried and tried again. If an approach appears to be ridiculous or horrendous, it’s usually been proven to be a winner before.

Even with the social lubricant of a Jägerbomb (or seven) on board, actually going out on a limb and talking to girl is a tough thing to do. Pushing yourself out there can leave you vulnerable. Most of the time you approach the potential woman of your dreams only armed with a funny line and a friendly double vodka. You could have doubled your nightclub budget and feel like you’re flying, before a crushing “no” brings you right down to earth. Lads are expected to take this with a wink and a smile, which can be an awful lot harder than you think.

However, this nightclub lark is a pretty one sided game. Because the etiquette of a nightclub is ruled by some unspoken rules, most lads will never know what it’s like to be approached and to be hit with an awful chat up line. I think that this is unfortunate for both sides. It means that lads have to do all the donkey work while never being on the receiving end. Just once, I think it would be interesting to watch the girls do the work and save me that four euro.

Like I’ve said, at the end of the day, it’s a game. Games are fun and are meant to be enjoyed by all. Please don’t tar us all with the creep brush. Some lads will gladly have the chat and maybe chance their arm after that. So girls, keep an open mind, give us a chance and please, ask for a cheap drink!

Aidan Delaney

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