College dating deal breakers

College can be hard. Relationships can be hard. So you’d wonder why anyone would want to combine the two. My understanding of relationships comes mainly from my Sims family and my friends. What are friends for if not to learn from their mistakes?

A friend’s relationship was enough for me to question the point of dating at third level. The friend in question got together with a fellow DCU student, who later dropped out. He moved into her house, rent free and had her fund his social life. This went on for over a year, only to be ended by a Facebook message.

So if you want to avoid a pointless relationship, avoid the following types of people:

  1. If they are doing better than you academically. This is a deal breaker. You don’t need the added competition outside of your own course. Find yourself a dummy. This will also help with your self-esteem.
  2. If they don’t believe in a united Ireland. This is something you should find out on a first date or first encounter. As a citizen of the Republic, it is your duty to avoid these people. Tiocfaidh ár lá.
  3. If they are part of a celebrity fandom. Whether they are a devoted Belieber or Swiftie, it is likely they argue with other people in the comments of a celebrity Instagram. Avoid these people at all costs.
  4. For the ladies. If he doesn’t own a pair of navy Adidas tracksuit bottoms with the white stripe on the back. He is clearly not a DCU student, or a real man. Deal breaker.
  5. If they kiss their family on the mouth. This is something to look out for. Being overly affectionate with family is creepy. This person is likely to refer to themselves as mammy’s baby. Shut it down.
  6. If they are vegan. You will definitely learn this about them straight away, as they need to mention it every twenty minutes to avoid spontaneous combustion. These people don’t appreciate the delicacy that is a goujon. These people are monsters.

Adam Daly

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