Although it may not feel like a joyful time, you are free. Everyone knows that break ups are not fun but it’s a rite of passage that we all must go through at some stage in our lives. Whether it was a lengthy relationship or merely a fling, here’s a few tips on how to move on effectively.
Listening to Dua Lipa’s “New Rules” on repeat is only going to do so much. Depending on the severity of the break up, unfollow and unfriend them from all social media platforms. If you can’t trust yourself to not contact them or you can’t trust them to not contact you, the best option is blocking. Even if you think you can still be friends, it will be hard to see them if they pop up on your timeline unexpectedly.
Don’t whine on social media. However, don’t go overboard with posting about how good of a time you’re having going out and finding new people. It’s incredibly transparent and you want to focus more on yourself than how other people perceive you at this time.
Although we advise refraining from showing off on social media, there’s absolutely no harm in having a makeover or even a change in lifestyle. Whether this means changing your hairstyle or becoming a vegan, now is the time to express your individual self.
The cliché thing to do after a break up is to go out and get completely hammered. Alcohol is a depressant and no matter what kind of drunk you are, you’re going to end up sobbing in the toilet of Dicey’s Garden. Do something fun that doesn’t involve alcohol and allows you to meet new people.
Get in touch with your friends, they’ll help you work through the break up and the loneliness. With free time and money, take yourself out on a date, or five. Find a new hobby or take up an old one, it will distract you from your thoughts and feelings. Work hard on what you’re doing, whether it’s college, a job or your new found hobby.
Finally, take care of yourself and move on at your own pace. Don’t rush to get with another person before you’re ready to or to spite your ex because it won’t make you feel any better. There’s a reason everyone preaches the no contact rule, it’s because it works. At least three months apart will help you reflect on yourself and the relationship.
If you ever do consider getting back together, make sure to look at the reasons you broke up and all the other aspects of the relationship. If the reasons for the break up are still relevant, it is probably not a good idea. Don’t repeat your mistakes, the temporary happiness is not worth it in the long run.
Aoibhin Mary Bryant & Róise McGagh.