Holidate is another cringe-fest of a love story

Niamh Quinlan

Romantic clichés aren’t always a bad thing. If you love to watch two very attractive white people fall in love over an hour and 45 minutes, going through the motions of “will they/won’t they” while also experiencing close to every cliché ever, then this is the movie for you.

If any of those tropes just turned your stomach, then I would steer clear. Although to be fair, there was no running through the airport scene, so at least they didn’t force that upon us.

‘Holidate’ starring Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey, directed by John Whitesell, follows the formula of most, if not all, American holiday-centered rom-coms. Kristin Chenoweth, Frances Fisher and King Bach – of Vine fame – also fill the cast as the overbearing aunt and mother, and the brainless best friend, respectively.

Emma Roberts’ character, Sloane, is a beautiful young woman who has been single for a long while, and everyone in her life wishes she wasn’t. Surrounded by her family trying to set her up on a date at every given opportunity Sloan tries to navigate through life without being miserable.

Enter Luke Bracey’s character, Jackson. Tall, blonde, handsome and Australian, Jackson is a “golf pro” who can’t be tied down and hates when people get attached to him.

He also hates being attached to someone, since his last girlfriend broke his heart. Any of this sound familiar yet?

The film starts one Christmas and follows Sloan and Jackson through every holiday: New Years, Easter and even Cinco de Mayo. They spend every holiday together as each other’s “holidate” so that they don’t have to spend celebrations alone while they’re surrounded by couples.

A simple concept, bound to lead to love and happy ever after.

I’ll let you guess what happens.

The film is fuelled by slapstick comedy, including Jackson blowing a finger off with a firework and Sloane shitting herself. Some jokes were funny though: while Sloane and Jackson are having brunch with Sloane’s mother on Mother’s Day, the two joke about having sex in the bathroom right in front of her mother.

It was executed well; the joke was well developed and the acting was quite good in that scene. There are a few instances with that level of quality throughout the movie.

However, Emma Roberts’ acting is nowhere on the level of what we saw in ‘Scream Queens’ or ‘American Horror Story’ and back to her days in Nickelodeon’s ‘Unfabulous’. However, what else can you expect?

She’s working with from a script that’s written like a Harry Styles Wattpad fanfiction and directed by the guy who also directed ‘Deck the Halls’.
As far as tacky romance movies you like to watch in bed hungover: four stars. Taking it from that category and criticising it like any other film: one star.

Niamh Quinlan

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