The 5 Least Sexy College Degrees in DCU

Sarah O'Tuama

From Chemistry to Computing, there are so many courses on offer here at DCU, all with varying levels of sexiness. Though very subjective, the facts are the facts- Communications takes the cake as the sexiest degree. That one lecture a day free time mixed with our insatiable desire for attention makes us Communication students the full package. But the real question that is on the tip of every student’s tongues, that is debated on each Nubar Night Out is “what is the least sexy degree in DCU?”. No need to fret anymore. That age old question has finally been answered. 

Here are the 5 most “un-sexy” degrees on offer in Dublin City University. 

 5. Psychology, Philosophy and all that jazz 

Unfortunately for our Psychology, Philosophy, English and Classics students (or any variation of these) you have made the list, placing at number 5. While no one on the outside of these degrees knows what possessed these students to pop it on their CAO, it’s probable that those studying don’t know either. It’s not clear what is covered on any of these courses, so much so that these students have secured themselves a one way ticket to unemployment city. This is precisely why I have grouped these courses together. Although it’s up for debate that these courses are vastly different in content, that is yet to be seen, especially considering no one knows what the purpose of these courses even are. Do better.

4. Social Sciences and Cultural Innovation

From sharing lectures with this course, I have highly justifiable reasoning for Social Sciences and Cultural Innovation to place 4th on my ‘Top 5 Least Sexy DCU Degrees List.’ Just imagine trying to scream Social Sciences and Cultural Innovation in bed. Way too longwinded, almost like a tongue twister. These students are wannabe Comms students, just lacking the charisma and personality. Embarrassing.     

3. Accounting and Finance

At number 3, we have the ever-so cult-like Accounting and Finance course. Much like its namesake society, this course is full of terrifying individuals who did not have the balls to pick a degree that will bring them any sort of joy. It’s true that each and every person studying Accounting and Finance is incapable of true love because they’re too busy scouring the stock market each morning to make you breakfast in bed. But if you’re a gal who likes being barked at on a night out by a potential lover, these guys are the ones for you. Best of luck to the three of you- you, your A&F bae and his receding hairline at the age of 22. 

2. Applied Physics

Number 2 is Applied Physics. Yes, this course really exists. Though you have never heard a single person on a night out claim this course, it’s typically because these losers do not go out in the first place. I am also wondering how physics can be applied? It’s obviously not a real thing. People studying applied physics passed out in Leaving Cert biology after learning the parts of the vagina and have never seen a woman’s body since. Poor unfortunate souls. Due to their bad track record they had to ditch the biology and move onto the next best thing, which apparently is physics. Make it make sense. 

1. Physical Education and Biology

In first place! The least sexy degree in the whole of DCU… Physical Education and Biology! This course consists of a group of lads who love going to the pub for a few pints and will never love you as much as they love each other. Dress code is strictly business casual- O’Neills GAA shorts with a jersey of whatever sports team they’ve built up some sort of parasocial relationship with this week, which again, they will love more than they love you. Showers are optional in this course but are discouraged, as “the beaurs love the natural musk”. I pity the future generation who will have to suffer through these lessons. If only they hadn’t torn that ACL- they could’ve gone pro. 

Sarah O’Tuama

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